Here's to the newlyweds Mr. Carl & Mrs. Jordan Ruf!

Here’s to Mr. Carl & Mrs. Jordan Ruf. Here’s to providing me the opportunity to come down to the Dayton area for the first time since my graduation. Here’s for allowing me the pleasure of seeing Nick, Cassie, Laura, Sam, Scott, Paul, Br. Brandon, Ed, David Devlin, Noey, Bryan, Andrew Eckrich, Dan Danis, & Maureen Kelly. Here’s for the time spent eating at Potbelly again, attending a Dayton Dragons victory, eating at Saxby’s for the first time, & walking the beloved UD campus again. Here’s to Carl for living with me for one & half years, for being a part of one of my greatest nights in my UD career, for inviting me to accompany him to Columbus for spring break Sophomore year, & for introducing me to Canes. Here’s to Old Man Ruf, a nickname I bestowed upon Carl, for remaining friends with me throughout my UD career, & for inviting me to his wedding. Here’s to Jordan, who like Erin Anderson, I never met before. Here’s to the first time seeing the bride occur as she walked down the aisle. Here’s to her graciousness in meeting me, her attendance at the same school as that of John Luke Robertson, & her fondness of country as evidenced by the music played during dinner & select dances. Here’s to the newlyweds.

Here’s to Mr. Carl & Mrs. Jordan Ruf. Here’s to the wedding location. Here’s to the venue fitting the description of what I imagined a country wedding to be. Here’s to an outdoor wedding, which can be picturesque but as I also saw, challenging. Here’s to having a pond on location, possibly a spot for Christians & rednecks’ baptisms. Here’s to having a wedding reception in a barn, with a second story that served as the changing room for the men & groom in the wedding party. Here’s to having a buffet of a dinner, one that Alex Meyers thoroughly enjoyed himself. Here’s to being an outdoor wedding, one of which heat caused major sweating & the removal of my jacket for dancing. Here’s to the newlyweds.

Here’s to Mr. Carl & Mrs. Jordan Ruf. Here’s to the wedding ceremony. Here’s to the groomsmen praying before the ceremony began, one of which must have invoked personal touch that calmed the groom & provided him a sense of peace. Here’s to the bridesmaids looking beautiful, the groomsmen appearing handsome, the bride being the prettiest of them all. Here’s to faith, although I wish the preacher had read the scripture prior to his sermon on it. Here’s to the commitment of love, though I felt the preacher should’ve included a personal touch to the bride & groom. Here’s to the reading of the vows, which when Carl read, his sound system ceased to work only to allow us the pleasure of Jordan reading hers. Here’s to the proclamation of man & wife. Here’s to the newlyweds.

Here’s to Mr. Carl & Mrs. Jordan Ruf. Here’s to the dinner. Here’s to receiving a complimentary glass, like a mason jar. Here’s to the entrance of a bridesmaid & groomsman with their own choreographed dance. Here’s to the speech Mr. Josefczyk gave where he expressed his love for his daughter. Here’s to the prayer Carl gave; fitting a ceremony filled with faith began with a prayer led by the groom. Here’s to those whom I caught up with, from Alex & Sara Meyers to Greg & Jen to Ryan Saul to Tim Skillen to Bill Timmer, not forgetting the brother of the bride, Adam Josefczyk. Here’s to filling myself with food more so than drink, something I failed to do the previous weekend. Here’s to the newlyweds.

Here’s to Mr. Carl & Mrs. Jordan Ruf. Here’s to dancing. Here’s to the first dance between the man & wife. Here’s to the song chosen being unknown by Alex Meyers & I, thankfully Shazam told us it was by Phil Wickham. Here’s to the father-daughter dance. Here’s to the song chosen being the beautiful “My Wish” by Rascal Flatts. Here’s to the mother-son dance. Here’s to the song chosen sung by Kenny Loggins, though no Dad, it’s not “Footloose.” Here’s to Delilah on 93.9 WLIT starting at 7 pm every night. Here’s to eating dinner, doing homework, & acquiring a plethora of knowledge about love songs. Here’s to dancing, even though I have two left feet mind you. Here’s to the smile that crosses my face when I flashback to that great night I previously mentioned. Here’s to Halloween Sophomore year when I attended & left a party. Here’s to Carl’s response, “I’m dancin’,” upon my text asking, “Where are you?” Here’s to those elevator doors opening to the Campus South basement. Here’s to my reaction upon seeing Carl dancing his heart out & my thought became if he can do it, so can I, dressed as Darth Vader & all. Here’s to dancing the night away as a floor, not a worry in the world or a care at all about how late the time became. Here’s to dancing in the basement to our relocation on the sixth floor, continuing the fun of the evening. Here’s to the music played at the wedding. Here’s to everything from “Shut Up & Dance” to “Cupid Shuffle” to “Shake It,” music that invited everyone to dance, even if they denied the former residents of Campus South 6B the pleasure of hearing “Kiss from A Rose” by Seal. Here’s to laughing while dancing with Alex & Sara Meyers, Greg & Jen, Carl, & Mrs. Ruf, the mother of Carl, & Carl’s wife Jordan. Here’s to the farewell dance as we wished Carl & Jordan off. Here’s to “Wanted” by Hunter Hayes. Here’s to my admission of my good singing abilities’ locations. Here’s to church where God loves your voice because He gave it to you, my head because I’m a legend there, & in the shower because of great acoustics. Here’s to the departure of Carl & Jordan as everyone spread out holding their candles wishing them off into the night. Here’s to the newlyweds.

Here’s to Mr. Carl & Mrs. Jordan Ruf. Here’s to the celebration. Here’s to Mark Ruf, the best man & Carl’s younger brother. Here’s to the greatest first name, as evidenced by the awesomeness of yours truly & the cool Mark Ruf. Here’s to Eva Ruf, Carl’s sweet younger sister. Here’s to the Mark Kristl fan club, created during that spring break when at some point I referred to the Ruf siblings & subsequently the whole Ruf family as the Mark Kristl fan club. Here’s to the brief conversation I had with Eva, which culminated in a picture with the beautiful lady. Here’s to the toast the Marks enjoyed followed by a picture of the handsome men. Here’s to the rejoicing of love for the second weekend in a row. Here’s to the newlyweds Mr. Carl & Mrs. Jordan Ruf. Congratulations!

I root for Baylor

For the first time this season, Baylor lost. While I am a Michigan fan, I root for Baylor. Today their playoff hopes went up in smoke. This is a shame, & I am here to tell you why. Not too long ago, Baylor was one of the worst programs in college football. Nobody wanted to play Baylor & coaches worried about their jobs there. I remember quite a few years ago, Baylor fans stormed the field when they won their first conference game in years. Then two individuals came along that forever changed the face of the program. Coach Art Briles & Robert Griffin III.

When Briles came to Baylor, so did RG3. While they made minimal progress, their first two years together, it was their third that launched Baylor into the emotional spotlight. Baylor’s fast-paced offense designed by Briles & RG3 at the controls made Baylor a fun team to watch. Yet their defense remained a nightmare. Nevertheless, because of their accomplishments & success in turning a cupcake program around, Baylor reaped the benefits. The 2011 Heisman Trophy was awarded to Robert Griffin III. Having taken Baylor as far as he could, RG3 declared for the NFL Draft. The following season Baylor was in transition to build on the success begun by RG3. QB Nick Florence performed admirably, but due to a faulty defense, Baylor’s continued success remained in neutral. That season ended on a high note though as they won the Holiday Bowl. Last season Bryce Petty took over at QB & Baylor began the season flying high on all cylinders. Until they met Oklahoma St. Who, as Sam Titus continually pointed out, destroyed Baylor? Baylor completed its season though it ended with a huge upset loss to UCF. This season Baylor played a weak non-conference schedule & college football playoff committee members criticize them for it. In a thriller, Baylor overcame a 58-37 deficit halfway through the 4th quarter & defeated TCU 61-58. Sadly, Baylor lost to West Virginia. In retrospect, the loss does not look good as West Virginia is simply an average team. Baylor did crush Oklahoma on the road though.

After a discussion on Baylor’s recent improvements, I further inform you about my fondness for Baylor. I like their head coach Art Briles. An ESPN article about him is one of the greatest pieces of writing I have ever read. Inspirational, informative, & fortitude are three adjectives I use to describe the article. Recently, Briles wrote a book called Beating Goliath. I now own it. Briles also does not view Baylor as a stepping-stone. When asked how Baylor compares to Oklahoma, he said something along the lines of, “It’s no longer us trying to beat Oklahoma. It’s Oklahoma trying to beat us.” Profound & true. Baylor has arrived.

Another reason I support Baylor is the way they funded their brand new football stadium. While they probably could play football without it, the university did not cut funding from other programs when it paid for the football stadium. Out of all ways to pay for a football stadium, that is probably the best. Lastly, I root for Baylor because many college football fans do not. Baylor comes from the Big 12, a Power 5 conference, yet respect is not fully given. Baylor is not the traditional powerhouse of Texas or Oklahoma. Nor is Baylor in the SEC, arguably the best conference. Art Briles is not viewed as a coaching mastermind such as Nick Saban, Bob Stoops, Mark Dantonio, & Jimbo Fisher. Baylor’s stadium is not associated with the big name stadiums of The Big House, Death Valley, Tuscaloosa, & Eugene. Because of all these reasons, I root for Baylor.

Congratulations Mr. Dan & Mrs. Erin Anderson!

For the first time since July 7, 2007, I attended a wedding. Actually, this was a first for me in many ways. To begin, this was my first wedding I attended by myself. Moreover, this was my first wedding since I turned 21. Although I probably attended one before, this was the first wedding I remember that I attended where the ceremony occurred in a Catholic Church. Whose wedding did I attend? The wedding of one of my best friends who I have known for 8-9 years, Dan Anderson. While I posted pictures on FB & wrote captions for them, I thought it beneficial to write about the wedding. Before anything else though, I want to reiterate one point though. Congratulations Dan & Erin Anderson.

Friday, August 7, I flew from Chicago to San Diego. After being picked up by Dan’s parents, I arrived at the group hotel. After checking in, I ate lunch with Dan & several of his Notre Dame (ND) friends. Fast forward to that evening where the Boyles, the family of his wife, hosted everyone at their home for dinner & conversation. Traditionally, the wedding rehearsal dinner consists of the wedding party, but seeing as how numerous people traveled to San Diego for the wedding, the Boyles invited everyone to attend the dinner. Upon our arrival, one of Dan’s friends, Mary Catherine, said she did not know many people outside of the ND group. I responded telling her, “Other than Dan, his brothers, parents, & Reid Steinbach, I don’t know anybody else. I’ve never even met the bride!” As a result, a running joke between Mary Catherine, Dan’s friend David, & I became one of those two asking me how many people I knew. I thoroughly enjoyed myself that evening though. I did implore Dan to introduce me to Erin, which he finally did. I will state this several times I am sure but I want to give a shout out to Dan’s ND friends. It was their first time together since several of them graduated in May 2013, & while they could have easily caught up on each other’s lives, they included me in the conversation, albeit I did not necessarily add much initially. While I met her father, I do not know the occupations of Erin’s parents, but I promise you their property was pretty. Several goats, I believe a horse, a pool, the house being located on a hill, a great way to begin a tremendous weekend.

Saturday August 8 was the day of the wedding. Many years ago Mom, Stephanie, & I flew to Las Vegas for the First Communion of a couple of our cousins. The church in Las Vegas was newer but still beautiful. The church in San Diego reminded me of that Las Vegas church. While the San Diego church I believe was older, it still was beautiful, with many windows & doors to show the abundant sunshine. While I failed to take pictures of the church, rest assured it was beautiful.

The ceremony was so appropriate. I tell people it was 95% focused & the other 5% laid back. For instance, the gospel chosen was where Jesus fed the 5,000. When he began his homily, the priest (who did a tremendous job fyi) asked Dan why he & Erin chose that gospel. Dan responded with a fabulous answer, to which I leaned over & jokingly told the woman, Laura, sitting next to me, “If he wasn’t getting married, he’d make one hell of a priest,” to which she laughed. The priest then asked Erin why she chose the gospel & she said, more or less, what he said. The priest asked Dan & Erin another question & their responses were the same. Dan answered the question & Erin said what he said. Later, as they prepared for the vows, the priest asked Dan & Erin a series of questions such as does you want to marry (insert name), will you raise your children Catholic, will you love one another for the rest of your lives, etc. As he was asking Erin one of the questions, not even completing the question, she said I do, to which the congregation laughed, & amused, the priest turned around & said, “Excited she is.” As they said their vows, which they repeated after the priest said them, they ended with in the name of the Father, Son, & Holy Spirit, but the three names were split apart. Erin decided to unite them all & when the priest said, “In the name of the Father,” she said, “In the name of the Father, Son, & Holy Spirit.” I saw the priest smile, possibly thinking that works, moving on. Nevertheless, Dan Anderson & Erin Boyle were married.

After the ceremony, there were countless pictures, though I took part in only the group shots. We waited for the picture taking to finish, & upon their completion, Mr. & Mrs. Hennessey, Dan’s maternal grandparents, I, Mary Catherine, & David drove to the wedding reception. Behind us were the newlyweds in a nice fancy old car. Mr. Hennessey proceeded to floor the car & then let off the gas, causing the newlyweds’ vehicle to slow down & then honk the horn, to which everyone in my vehicle laughed. Mr. Hennessey repeated the process; the newlyweds honked the horn at us, & we died of laughter, all the way until we hit the expressway. Everyone in our car roared with laughter, I do not know what the newlyweds thought.

The drive to the wedding reception was beautiful. For all you Midwestern folks, you know how when you drive on Lake Shore Drive you are driving alongside Lake Michigan? Well, this was similar, except instead of Lake Michigan the body of water we drove alongside of was the Pacific Ocean. While we arrived at the wedding reception location, the Darlington House, the wedding party traveled nearby to the beach for more photos. Therefore, David, Mary Catherine, & I grabbed some hors d'oeuvres. Three maître d’s came by together at one time. The first walked by with hors d’oeuvres, the second walked by with a tray for guests to put their empty hors d’oeuvres’ utensils, wine glasses, etc., & the third walked by with glasses of wine. Being California, the wine was a plenty, & the sangria tasted delicious, so much so by the end of the night I drank enough to feel very good. Meanwhile, there was a man playing a guitar, singing everything from “Stand by Me” to John Mayer songs. He eventually became the mc of the evening & subsequently a cool DJ. Dinner was then served.

When I found what table I was sitting at, I grabbed a glass of wine & proceeded to the table. What ensued most likely is one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. As I sat down, the woman to my right said to me, “Hi, how have you been since high school?” “Good thanks,” I replied, & then added, “Do you know where I went to high school?” She calmly said, “Marian Catholic,” to which I remarked, “Yes, I suppose you knew that I was a high school friend of Dan & Dan attended Marian.” “Well there’s that, & the fact that you & I went to high school together, cause I was in Dan’s class & you graduated with my sister.” At this point, my thought process went from huh to oh crap. Racking my brain as fast as possible, I asked, “I’m sorry but what is your last name?” “O’Shea,” & which I finally admitted, “I’m sorry, but I don’t remember you at all!” Embarrassment mind you raced through my head, & quickly I became the reason for laughter from the rest of the people seated at my table. Unable to remember this woman, & not exactly overjoyed the laughter at my expense, I quickly hustled off for another glass of sangria. To this day, I do not remember her nor her sister, even after consulting my yearbook & FB asking a friend whom I graduated with whom I remembered. If this woman attends my five year reunion this year, my embarrassment level will rise, & I am left to wonder whom I cannot recognize nor remember.

After dinner, some of the wedding traditions began. First, Mr. Boyle gave a speech, the maid of honor gave a speech where frankly, she told Dan he finally gained sisters as he has three brothers, Erin finally gained some brothers as she only has sisters, & the maid of honor loves them all. Fortunately, Dan’s best man, his brother Matt, gave a speech that emitted laughter but at the same point presented a moral on how terrific Dan is & how Matt is glad Dan found someone so loving as Erin. Dan gave a speech, terrific as usual, & Erin did what we on More to Life called filling the gaps. When two people hold hands, there are no gaps among those hands, as the two fill in each other’s gaps, weaknesses. From the time I spent with both Dan & Erin, they do that to each other. This truly means they balance each other, they love each other, & they will work together as a team, or one. While I am no expert on relationships, I believe that will sustain them for a loving lifelong marriage. Now the dances began. The only complaint, & it is not major, is the songs only played for a minute or so, except for the dance between Dan & his mother. After that, the dancing for all guests began. I admit I normally have two left feet when it comes to dancing, & I do, but I think the consumption of sangria provided me the courage to dance. Because I believe I danced to the vast majority of the songs. I requested “Cupid Shuffle” because that has an actual dance associated with it, & I know it all too well. Everything from “Uptown Funk” to “Twist & Shout” were played, with everyone from Mrs. Anderson, Dan’s friends, the newlyweds, & people young & old, male & female, dancing at some point or another. Again, while I am no expert, I feel as though the music is successfully chosen when it results in everybody dancing sometime during the reception. Additionally, when I was not dancing, I chowed down on two pieces of dessert & sangria. The weather the whole time, even for the ceremony, was heavenly. Not a cloud in the sky, no mosquitos, not too hot but not too cold, with a breeze coming just when you started to heavily sweat from dancing &/or enjoying yourself.

I did get a chance to talk to Erin & Dan separately but briefly. To Erin I told her she is marrying one of my best friends, a person I have known for 9-10 years, & I wish her all the best & hopefully good memories with her. To Dan, I told him congratulations, I look forward to many more years of good friendship with him. As the wedding reception ended, they ended it with two songs. First, an Irish chant that I did not know the words to but gladly swayed next to Mary Catherine & David. Next, I stepped back & listened as they sang the ND fight song, something of which I have no desire to learn. As everyone prepared to send the newlyweds off, Mary Catherine grabbed one of the decorative flowers & placed it in her hair. If you are on FB, check out the photos from the wedding, & two of them are of the flower in her hair. She looked lovely by the way. I am so glad her & David welcomed me that weekend, otherwise it could have been a weekend of celebration for Dan & Erin but slightly awkward for me knowing few people. Back to the reception, we wished the newlyweds good night, & the celebration concluded.

I could go into detail about Sunday but the basic description for Sunday is I felt below average, I said goodbye to the Andersons & Dan’s ND friends, & I flew home safely. To wrap up this writing, I want to reiterate how the weekend was NOT about me. It was the celebration of the marriage of two people in love, one of them one of my best friends. Nevertheless, the weekend was a joyous occasion, full of laughter, dancing, sangria, & love. To which I conclude this writing with this phrase, “Congratulations Dan & Erin, I had an outstanding time at the celebration, I was honored & thankful to be able to attend, & I look forward to the memories I will share with the two of you.”

My 2015 MLB All-Star Game Starters

For the second year in a row, I voted for the MLB All-Star Game starters. Because I am a Cubs fan, I leaned heavily on Cubs connections, either former or current players, & additionally, I could not vote for any Chicago White Sox nor St. Louis Cardinals players. Now mind you these are my personal choices. Not based off any statistic, so no, neither Miguel Cabrera nor Mike Trout made my ballot. Without further ado, here they are.

For the American League (AL), I voted for Russell Martin at Catcher. He played previously for the Pittsburgh Pirates & he is arguably the best catcher in the AL. For 1B, Albert Pujols. He is a class act & phenomenal talent whom I have always respected, but in previous years I could not chose him because I disliked him because he played for the Cardinals. The starter at 2B is Jose Altuve because he is incredibly short, a talented defender, a terrific hitter, & since the SI detailing how the Astros’ management rebuilt the organization, I have cheered for the Astros. The starting SS is Carlos Correa because the kid has played at an All-Star caliber in his rookie season, & Houston has the hill in CF that drives Dad crazy, which subsequently causes me to like it. Manny Machado is the starting 3B because the dude can flat out play. The three starting outfielders are Torii Hunter, Coco Crisp, & George Springer. Hunter is one of Joe Wooley & Jacob’s favorite players, Crisp has an all-star name (unique at least), & Springer made the catch of the year early in the season. Lastly, the starting DH is Evan Gattis because he swings so powerfully barehanded & he has been a large part of the Astros’ success this season. I would have chosen David Ortiz but after he so vehemently complained about the pace of play rules, I have lost some respect for him.

In the NL, I voted for Anthony Rizzo, Addison Russell, Starlin Castro, Kris Bryant, & Jorge Soler all because they play for the Cubs. For catcher, I chose Wellington Castillo because he is not a bad player, he has been traded twice this season, & I am not a huge fan of Miguel Montero. For the two remaining outfield positions, I chose Curtis Granderson & Marlon Byrd. Granderson is exemplary player, gratefully remembering where he came from by helping TF South, & Byrd is a former Cub who gives 100% every game no matter what, as Mark DeRosa & Reed Johnson did in the past. Therefore, that is my ballot. Agree, disagree, or somewhere in between, but as with any election, if you did not vote, you forfeit your right to complain. For those that say their vote does not count, Royals fans are proof votes do count. They voted four of their players as starters. Lastly, to assist you in your reading this blog entry, I post my 2015 All-Star Game Starters below. Now play ball!

My 2015 All-Star Game Starters
AL
C: Russell Martin of Toronto Blue Jays
1B: Albert Pujols of Los Angeles Angels
2B: Jose Altuve of Houston Astros
SS: Carlos Correa of Houston Astros
3B: Manny Machado of Baltimore Orioles
LF: Torii Hunter of Detroit Tigers
CF: Coco Crisp of Oakland A’s
RF: George Springer of Houston Astros
DH: Evan Gattis of Houston Astros

NL

C: Wellington Castillo of Arizona Diamondbacks

1B: Anthony Rizzo of Chicago Cubs

2B: Addison Russell of Chicago Cubs

SS: Starlin Castro of Chicago Cubs

3B: Kris Bryant of Chicago Cubs

LF: Curtis Granderson of New York Mets

CF: Marlon Byrd of Cincinnati Reds

RF: Jorge Soler of Chicago Cubs

Duck Dynasty addict

Duck Dynasty is my drug. I found myself watching it again last night. I had never seen two episodes before. There were episodes I had seen & still watched again. I can easily call several scenes to mind. When I hear their theme song, I think of them. When someone I know asks me how I am doing, I typically respond happy happy happy. When Stephanie wants to say something, she will often say, "Hey Jack." When the next season starts I will be happy happy happy. Duck Dynasty is my drug. Duck Dynasty is clean-no drugs, beer, & sex is referred to only in appropriate context. Duck Dynasty deals with religion, families, & life. So buckle up kids because hey Jack, this upcoming season is going to be awesome.

Cruisin'

This year, Stephanie’s Easter Break was the week after Easter, Dad finally gained enough seniority where he took a week’s vacation the week after Easter, & Mom worked enough to earn a week’s vacation. Therefore, from April 6-10, 2015, the Kristl family went on a cruise. Ridiculously early Monday morning we flew out of O’Hare & landed into Miami. After catching a taxi, we handed our luggage to the Norwegian Cruise Line staff & prepared to board. The neat part about the preparations was the use of technology. The staff took our picture, imported our passport information, put a valid credit card, & later a sticker signifying which beverage package we had, all onto a credit card. We were told to carry the card with us at all times & not to bring our passports to the different port cities.

We boarded the ship & the feasting began. It has been determined I will never get fat in life because my goodness, did I eat on the cruise, & I did not get fat. While we boarded the ship shortly after noon, the ship did not leave Miami until around 5 pm. Mom, Dad, & Stephanie napped while I wandered & after an evacuation training session, we all wore t-shirts & shorts & chilled by the pool. Unfortunately, the pools were saltwater & while they were drained & sanitized every night (good!), as a result they were cold. Just as we departed from Miami, we saw two rainbows. One of our left-hand side & another on the right-hand side. What lied straight in front of us was an afternoon Florida rain. And just as quickly as the heavens opened, the 2400 guests scattered. After changing back in our room, we ate dinner, & then at the Stardust Theater we saw the opening night entertainment. Dancers performed, proclaiming the greatness of vacationing & cruising. The main staff was introduced, each performing their own little happy dance to a different tune. When the Swedish captain danced, & he had himself a good time on the cruise, I leaned over to Dad & asked, “If the captain’s here, who’s driving this thing?” Following the entertaining introductions, comedian Andrew Kennedy came onstage. Not only was he hilarious, but also at one point the ship substantially rocked. He even shifted from one position to the other. He commented that was the ship not him, he would be enjoying adult beverages later. Besides he pointed out, those who were the most inebriated walked the straightest! The dancers concluded the show with yet another dance, exciting the guests for what lay ahead.

Tuesday morning began bright & early, or at least one of those. The previous night Mom set the alarm on her phone so we could get up, get ready, & make it to our excursion on time. For some reason, Stephanie says the time zone changes but I do not know, her alarm went off not at the proper time but early. As in Dad checked his watch which said 4 am, they all dressed, Dad looked outside, came back in the room, & said, “Wake me up in three hours, it’s 4 am.” Mom doubted him, doubled check, figured to set a timer instead of an alarm on her phone, & died of laughter-she would not get quiet. I barely woke up, went to the bathroom, sat on the bed when Dad returned, & eagerly passed out upon the discovery. They all love to tell the story.

Three hours later we awoke with the good mornings. What I mean to say is when we grabbed breakfast at the dining hall, & I mean grab as in grab by the plates, not the amount of food. For breakfast, load up on the bacon & grab a loaf of French toast. When we entered the dining hall, all the staff repeatedly said good morning, as if they received a ten-cent bonus every time they said it. Naturally, as soon as Dad realized it annoyed us, the morning person he is joined the annoyance. We left the ship & prepared for our excursion, a tour of Grand Bahama Island, with the ship docked at Freeport. The bus arrived late though, so the woman in charge (Vanessa I believe was her name so I am referring to her as that), said everyone who could drink (liquor not water you drunkards) would receive a free drink at the beach.

Captain Dwayne, the bus driver, was awesome, Bahamian-style man. For instance, when we went to the beach, he stressed the importance of sun block. Because, as he said, he was a young rich white New Yorker when he arrived, look at him now haha! Interestingly, there are 200 islands in the Bahamas. Only 70 of them are inhabitable. So, Captain Dwayne called his family & told them let’s keep the islands in the family. Therefore, he called his cousins Johnny Depp, Tim McGraw, Nicholas Cage, Sean Connery, & most importantly, his sister Shakira, & told them to lease the islands, with Captain Dwayne getting the preferential treatment on the islands man. Captain Dwayne also supported tourists, namely us, spending money on the islands. The only activity he encouraged us to do on the ship was gamble; showing our winnings to Captain Dwayne & he’d take care of us man. Additionally, financially, he encouraged us to try the local food, not KFC as all it keeps Bahamians from cooking nor Subway as it’s too healthy for us man. Lastly, as we arrived at the beach, he told us the drinking age was 12… for water. For everything else in the Bahamas man, the age is 18.

The tour began with a stop at a nature center, like Sandridge Nature Center. Vanessa walked us around & showed us multiple different plants & she educated us about them. Interestingly, Bahamians strongly believe in the medicinal purposes of the plants. The other neat part is the tree the Bahamians used for lumber unfortunately grew back too slowly, and therefore they no longer use the tree for lumber. Next, we traveled to a Baptist cathedral which contains 89 stained glass windows. More than 90% of Bahamians are Christian, with the top three denominations being Baptist, Catholic, & Anglican. Obviously, I am not Baptist but the cathedral was beautiful & the woman who gave us a speech about the parish showed strong passion. The next stop was where turtles were. Vanessa told us to come to the lower pier & stomp & make noise. Turtles, she told us, are attracted to the noise, & sure enough when we made noise, at least a dozen full-grown turtles surfaced. Afterwards, we went to the beach. While I am not a beach person, the view was still that people see on postcards. I drank a Sands beer, which reminded me of Corona, & including the three free drinks, we had five Bahama Mamas. After eating lunch, we were all tired, but our tour did not end quite yet. Captain Dwayne said the women were taking the men’s money & going shopping, the men were going to the bars. We purchased a few small items, the tour ended, & we returned to the ship.

The next morning our ship arrived in Nassau. We again signed up for a tour of the islands, & while our bus driver was good, because Captain Dwayne set the bar so high, it was not nearly as enjoyable. It was driving & simply looking. To the bus driver’s credit, he took us on a view of the whole island, showing the rich, the poor, & everything in the middle. Sadly, as quickly as we saw the rich fancy homes, we would turn & see the slums. Apparently, Nassau is known for its Atlantis resort, & while I admit the resort looked breathtaking, the resort is designed so that guests never have to leave the resort & see the poverty of the islands. The highlight of the Nassau tour was the rum distillery. Literally, there is a rum distillery that sells on the island; you cannot find it at Binny’s Beverage Depot. Personally, the rum sample I received tasted good. That evening we had a dinner at one of the more upscale yet still complimentary restaurants, & afterwards we saw Andrew Kennedy again. Hilarious does not adequately describe how funny he was.

The last day of the cruise, the ship sailed to Grand Stirrup Cay, Norwegian’s private island. Apparently, all the major cruise lines own an island, but according to several people, Norwegian Cruise Line has the largest. Now because this is a private island, the shore was not dug out, and therefore the cruise ship did not bring us to shore. Instead, we boarded a smaller boat, with occupancy of only 250-350 people, and it brought us to shore. Our excursion that day was a marine lifeboat eco-tour. We boarded a pontoon, and the four guides each gave each other nicknames. One guide said if we saw something in the ocean we wanted to see, tell them & Mugger will go get it. So, there we were sailing along & someone spotted a sponge like creature. Splash! In went Mugger! I kid you not. Numerous times he jumped in to retrieve some creature, & the other guides did a fabulous job explaining what the creatures were. When people were done holding them, taking pictures, & the guides thoroughly covered the creature, the guides tossed them back in the water. Starfish were cool to hold. Towards the end of the eco-tour, not terribly far from shore, the guides pointed out an animal several feet away. As we got closer, they told us, which we saw, it was a 10+ foot hammerhead shark! I kid you not. Being the caring people, we are, we said Mugger go get it. Of course, he declined. One guest then walked up to him & said, “I know you’ll need help. After all, it is a big animal. I’ll jump in with you & we’ll put it in the boat,” to which Mugger responded, “You take the front & I’ll take the back!” Haha, so, the hammerhead shark stayed in the ocean. The eco-tour was way worth the money.

The great part about being on Norwegian’s private island was that the items you received complimentarily on the ship, you did so on the island. Therefore, lunch & pop were free. While Dad & Stephanie parasailed, I cooked my skin into that of a red lobster, or in some spots, I was redder than a red lobster. Dad & Stephanie easily turn burns into tans. Mom & I just burn. And hurt. Mainly hurt. I reiterate the notion that sunscreen works… when you apply it… & only to the areas where you apply it. Around 3 pm, we boarded the ship that brought us back to the cruise ship, & while everyone else went back to the room to relax, I swam in the pool, as even though it was cold & saltwater, it felt refreshing. Perhaps the cold negated the scorching feeling of my skin.

That evening we went for a nice dinner at one of their complimentary restaurants. We all tried different desserts, & while they all looked fabulous, Stephanie’s tasted terrible! Everyone else’s tasted exquisite. Friday morning the ship arrived in Miami & reality returned… well, sort of. We caught a cab & it took us to one of the nice hotels on South Beach in Miami. We dropped off our stuff & caught another taxi to take us around to the shops. Being tourists in Miami, where did we eat lunch? McDonalds of course. Mostly because we were all tired, wanting to relax & eat. We returned & went to the pool. Yes, after cooking myself to a well-done crisp, I applied sunscreen all over. Then jumped in the pool. That evening we went to dinner at a nice restaurant across the street. The following morning, we went to the airport & came home, exhausted, burnt, probably several pounds heavier, with some souvenirs, good memories, & returned to colder weather.

Final thoughts. No, I would not do a cruise again. Yes, it was fun. I am not denying that. For a one-time occurrence. I am not, nor will I ever be, a beach bum. The pool in our backyard is fine thank you. The food was terrific & abundant. It was great not having to pay for the massive amounts of pop I drank. However, I would like to do other things. I have a goal of visiting every MLB stadium. I loved seeing the history in Philadelphia & eating my way through the good cheesesteak restaurants. I am thankful I had the experience of going on a cruise with my family. Overall, to each their own, but that is my story. Cruisin’.

Barefoot

This summer I have been barefoot more this summer than any other summer. Perhaps time wise, all the summers combined. Part of it has to do with my laziness. The more barefoot I am, the less socks I wear & subsequently wash. Though there is another element to it. Like what Duncan & Ed believe. Just not the same level of extreme. For one, the fresh air on my feet results in a small amount of hotness my body experiences. My feet also have developed a tan line according to my sandals. There is also that feeling of freeness on my feet. Barefoot on top of barefoot seems natural, feels comfortable, & I am sure walking around has cleaned my feet. At least rid them of that dead skin that accumulates during the winter, or at least the cold times. The times I wear socks. Back to that feeling of freeness, sandals, especially my shower sandals or flip-flops, whichever you prefer to call them, come off easily. This can lead to me sticking my feet in the pool to cool them off & just all-around quicker time for me to jump into the pool. I suppose you can also use the examples given above, to a certain extent, with my wearing shorts. I would say t-shirts are applicable as well but I have so many that logic is implausible. Yet, here I am tonight, sweating like a pig after playing a video game, fan on & window open. Barefoot.